mar 31

It just doesn’t feel like Tuesday night. It’s 11:30pm, all four boys are up, Jeff is rocking out to music so loud that even Giles is pleading for volume reduction. It’s the corona schedge.

I’ve really been forced to step up my mom game. Babies and toddlers are my jam, but as my kids have grown, so have their opinions, attitudes, and smart-assery. They have minds of their own which are often in direct opposition to mine. This is just part of the reason homeschooling has been so torturous. The other reasons are entirely practical, like, I don’t have enough devices in the house to accommodate two kids on Zoom meetings and me working at the same time. And bandwidth – not my own mental capacity, but actual internet bandwidth. Not enough. It constantly drops on all of us.

The days are frustrating. By the time I can explain one concept or assignment or online typing program to one kid, the others are off-task or antagonizing each other or eating or they’ve snuck out of the room. They’ve got a daily schedule, which is different for each kid, but if I don’t follow up constantly, it falls apart.

But back to my mom game. I made cookies with Toren! I bought vegetables for us to plant together in a new garden! Two out of four are doing their laundry! I mean, these are victories.

So, while I’m frustrated and like all of us, harboring deep-seated anxiety of this pandemic, it’s all roses compared to so many. I think I’ve chattered already about the inequity of our isolation, but it was a topic of conversation again today. Some of us are living our best lives! Cleaning out closets, picking up neglected crafting projects or hobbies, learning new skills, dusting off old recipes, marathoning tv shows. But others are experiencing the shits. Healthcare workers, for one.

But it also sucks for full-time working parents with toddlers at home, families with sick loved ones whom they are unable to visit or hug, ill or injured patients who are not prioritized for treatment. My friend’s dad died over the weekend and he had to die alone because of virus precautions in all healthcare settings. It’s devastating.

Another friend is a nurse here in Seattle. She works in a non-COVID wing so they don’t wear protective gear. A couple days after caring exclusively for one patient during a shift, she learned that patient tested positive for the virus. So does the hospital make her quarantine for 14 days? No sir. I’ve heard several similar anecdotes. There’s just not enough PPE and not enough workers. I read recently how healthcare workers in New York were expected to work even after testing positive and until symptoms were presenting. They just assume everybody has it or will have and in the meantime, hospitals can’t afford to be short-staffed.

I can’t wait for this for this to be over. I’m already sad about the stories I will surely read tomorrow about more amazing humans who have died because of this virus.